I've moved

My 503rd post, and my final post on this blog....

After so many years of having an emo blog URL, i've changed it, and changed a blog host. Just because...... i don't want to use back blogspot. muahah i sound so defiant.

So for those who are always actively updating your links, you're free to re-link me. And for those who are don't have the link page or are lazy to update, you can just come here and click on the link below, or go to a blog where the blogger is active enough to update their links.

renewedpassion.wordpress.com

Doesn't time just fly.... Only 3 more days to the end of 40 days fast. I can still remember the week that i shared about fasting in cell group. The army boys are back from their 35 days training in Taiwan. And even Jonny is back from ________ (This place that is down-er or up-per from Nepal) after being there for almost 4 months. And my birthday's coming! which means half the year is gone...

My laptop is sorely underused now that i've gone to work. I have no motivation to turn on my com at home after facing the computer for almost 8 hours at work. Since I'm not THAT busy, i've read all the blogs i want to read, chat with all whom i want to chat and done everything on the computer that i want to do..

I'm really craving for breakfast mifen and bk breakfast! ahhh their hashbrown! My mouth's watering even as I type about it...

on love...

When it becomes hard to love, it's when real love begins.

I have to admit that it's hard to put away all the hurts and misunderstandings and own feelings and choose to pray for the grace to love despite all.

I'm still learning, learning to love a little like how God loved and accept His love. I'm learning to see myself - the sinner, condemned, unclean.. Yet not dwelling in that self pity, but rest upon His love. His provision - to cease from my works.

Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little. (Luke 7:47)

Emo first, random later

Sometimes i wish you didn't know so many things. It just makes it so difficult as it reminds me of the exact same situation a few years ago just the opposite roles. Struggling within me to reply or not... And hopefully as seconds, minutes, hours and eventually days pass in just thinking about it, would make the urge to reply lessen.

It's not hatred.. I'm just learning to protect myself..

The rest of the post is for gabriel alone, who complains that I'm far too busy for him so that he has to use other means to get to know how I'm doing. And his other means is just my blog! So uncreative! Haha!

So i'm going to blog so that he'll know what's up with me, and reiterate the fact that I AM indeed too busy for him!!!! MUAHAHHAHA just kidding la! Anyway he's in Thailand now, so he'll probably read this a few weeks later.

Work's getting busier as I know more things and am entrust with more on my plate. My bosses are out as well as my fellow "form labs" buddy. So i'm left alone doing this area of work. Explaining my busy situation. At least it feels more like work now. But fortunately / unfortunately due to super slow loading in this forms lab program. I've about 1 min each load of the page to do my own things. Which can add up to a few hours a day.

My first ever OT yesterday.... Which actually was ok, except for 72 which during the timing of (8pm - 9pm) has a interval of 30 minutes per bus. Which is disgusting especially if i reach the interchange at 8, and only manage to reach home at 845!

Gabriel, what else you wanna know?

Erm.... Oh! i have a new hobby, known or unknown to some... After risking the perception of me being aunty-ish, i signed up for a sewing course in the CC. It's not as aunty as it sounds although i'm the youngest there. But the whole learning to sew, and making clothes, and drawing fashion designs... neither of it is aunty-ish. But there are aunties in the course who chooses aunty cloth and thus produce aunty skirts. As for me, my cloths are very much NON-aunty ok! it feels good looking at magazines and realising that you can re-create the clothes you see, and these fits you exactly.

even the shopkeeper in chinatown say i look younger than 22 ok! In my office wear somemore. She totally made my day.. We're currently learning how to make blouses.. Because of this course, i have minimal Monday blues, since the class falls on monday.

And last week, i received the acceptance letter to Tung Ling Bible College. I'm going over for a 3 months course before i decide on anything else. My parents haven't been the most supportive, but they aren't taking it too hard (as wilfred put it, it's low cost since it's only for 3 months) Oh, it'll start in July.

This is like the snap shot view of how and what i'm doing now. oh, i need to add that designers are quite cool. Working in a media company and seeing the designers work on flash and animation to make an advertisement for well-known companies is really quite interesting.

OK! i'm done with updating gabriel about my life. muhahha

1st day of work tomorrow

This isn't the first time i've gone to work, neither is this job a make or break thing for me. In fact, everything about this job has gone very very well so far. But the unknown factor in a new environment does put a certain amount of pressure and anxiety in me. And of course that unspoken expectation that is on me even before i start working.

It has gotten quite tiring to explain why i'm doing a part time job now as opposed to a full time. Or why i'm not relaxing longer before i find a job that i really like. Or... what are my concrete plans for the future. And because it is personal and it take quite a bit of courage to step out, I never liked explaining my decision to concerned-adults-who-tend-to-ask-what-i'm-going-to-do-now-that-i've-graduated that much.

it's back to a disciplined schedule of sleeping early, waking up early and working!

HSBC has really nice adverts eh...
The one where HSBC caters their plans to every kind of customer, and the new one with the red colour points that look like playdoh and can be miracously knead into sunglasses and a camera and an aeroplane!

But i don't seem to see them for a very long time or very often too.. As compared to others, or maybe they just don't appear too much during the time slot where i watch TV.

I wonder who's the one that think of all these ideas... and where they get the ideas from... How can one be continuously inspired to think of all these stuff...

oh ya.. there's this very nice guy's voice on heartlight.org that reads out bible verses... He's really good at reading eh! but he only reads in NLT version. I think it'll be too much to want him to read the bible so many times right.. And he pronouce names in the bible like "Melchizedek" super well..

Graduation and credit cards

I've graduated!! Although no officially and i still have a reflective paper to write before it's really ALL OVER... but at least i don't have to go to school anymore. It was quite weird because it wasn't after an exam as it would be usually. A final presentation and a report concluded everything. We were furiously taking pictures at the end of class because this is the last time the whole (ok one-third) of HRC cohort would come together again. For the first time, i'm actually quite excited about convention. oh it's the day where we wear our square hat and this gown thing and take MORE pictures.

We're all in business attire... like so ready to go out to work. Actually, it didn't really hit me until we said goodbye (hate goodbyes!) when i realise that this might be the last time we see each other again, unless of course we take the effort to meet up outside. These friends aren't very close, in fact little or none of them knows what's going on with me outside school, yet they have been the very people whom i spend almost all the 2nd half of my uni days with... i think i'll miss them.

On a very very random note... one of these girls knows u5... the world very small ah...

aiyo... constrast it with my JC grad photo.... interesting.... the difference... is that i take more pictures now.. and i carry a more girly bag.. i didn't put up my Sec school grad photos.. because... i look too nerdy then... oh... if you look carefully... it seems like i've put my school badge on the wrong collar!!!! adoi..2 years in SR, and i don't know how to wear my uniform correctly..

Actually why do people get so happy when they graduate? I guess it's just a form of accomplishment bah. Because even though you've graduated, doesn't mean things are going to be easy what... the working world is bad, and you need to find your direction, and you need to earn money leh! it's just that since young, you've been told that you need to study hard and enter university and finish your education. So this day is probably THE day every students is working towards...

Anyway talking about the working world.. or the world in general. It's a very practical world! I was walking out of boon lay mrt station and this indian guy approached me. He was very nice and he wanted to take 5 mins of my time. Since i was early, so i gave him that 5 mins he wanted. He asked me not to worry cos he wasn't trying to sell something to me, so i wasn't worried. He then asked me to hold a piece of laminated paper, and on it was a picture of a credit card (platinum ok... not gold... platinum) and then started his sales pitch.

Indian guy: blah blah blah blah (I can't remember what he said but it's probably the usual la.. introducting the card, say it's free subscription, can cancel it anytime i want... )

Me: *thinking* i can't afford this...

Indian guy: I'm sure you have a credit card right?

Me: er... haha no.. i'm still a student

Indian guy: OH no...... i wasted my energy.... haha find me next time when you've started work ok?

Me: er.. hehe... thanks... *returns laminted paper and walk away*

You know why he's so sure that i have a credit card? BECAUSE.... i was wearing a business suit! I had a presentation today... NTU has groomed us well enough so that when we go out, we already look like working professionals.

Anyway, it's the wrong place to be la, to be trying to target working class people in boon lay. Because NTU is there, and this week is presentation week, so you can expect almost the whole of business school students to go to school in their business suit. So if he's going to sieve out the working class people by what they wear, he's going to waste a lot of energy talking to students who are busy memorising their script for their presentation.

ah!! i've graduated... i'm too old for school and too young for work...